By Dave C. Chikosi
Zimbabweans on Twitter are an indignant lot. Undecided why. Their nation can be divided as hell. The division between the 2 important political events is as deep because the chasm between heaven and hell.
The primary opposition social gathering, on the one hand, claims to have the ability to convey ‘heaven on earth’ to a rustic that critics describe as a hellhole – a barely higher descriptor than the time period as soon as utilized by the President of the USA.
The ruling social gathering, alternatively, stands accused of bringing ‘hell on earth’ to stunning Wakanda. Critics level to a Biblical weeping and gnashing of enamel (kugedageda kwemazino) that has turn out to be the lot of atypical people ever since that apocalyptic day in 2017 when a army basic appeared on state tv to announce a coup d’état, that was actually “not a army takeover of presidency.” It was simply his troops focusing on criminals across the then President, who himself remained secure.
Quick ahead to April 2020, and somewhat identified Zimbabwean medical physician on a social media platform publicly goals a golden arrow on the coronary heart of one among Zimbabwe’s most well-known bachelorette. Not solely does Dr Cupid handle to do what a large number of Zimbabwean eligible bachelors have been too petrified to do, however he additionally manages to do what their politicians have did not do i.e. unite these indignant and contentious sadza-eaters.
For many who have simply crawled out from below the web rock, right here’s what occurred: when the nice physician pulled again the bow and launched his arrow, almost all of Zwitter (Zimbabweans on Twitter), no matter political affiliation, all of a sudden got here collectively in a uncommon present of unity and rallied behind what many thought was an act of braveness by the gentleman.
And similar to the twond century romantic story the place a large number of gods assembled within the theater of heaven accredited the wedding of Cupid to Psyche, the Twitter gods have additionally spoken and have given their nod of approval to this budding romance. Love crammed the air as Zimbas buried their variations. Momentarily.
And now as Zimbabweans await for that promised candlelight dinner, most are satisfied that the nice physician will stay as much as his promise. He comes throughout as an honorable suitor. And if that be the case then the lengthy wait by our Girl Advocate has been price it. She has additionally carried out herself like an actual girl, in contrast to some social media pole dancers who mistakenly suppose that the way in which to get Mr. Proper is by displaying a lot of pores and skin.
However examine our Girl Advocate’s fortune with that of our Girl Zimbabwe. The latter has been sitting down at a dinner desk, because the coup-not-a-coup, ready for her lover, Mr. New Dispensation, to point out up. The anticipated dinner by candlelight just isn’t by alternative, however by cause of the nation’s worsening energy cuts or load shedding. And right here she sits, hungry and sipping nothing however plain, tasteless water, ready for her man to point out up.
Mr. New Dispensation did present up ultimately to suggest, albeit very briefly, on the elections in July 2018. There have been two important contenders romantically pursuing her on the time. Like Cupid of previous, each fired their golden arrows at our Girl, and in a closely disputed consequence just one suitor gained her hand. The disputed winner then started promising her a number of mega dinners by candlelight, however sadly boo has thus far did not fairly stay as much as his guarantees.
We had been all there to witnesses as she checked out him starry-eyed whereas he talked about how 2018 was going to be the yr of mega offers. It was going to be the yr of “open for enterprise.” What occurred? The place is the promised $1.5 billion agricultural mega deal touted to create 630 000 jobs?
The place is the $4.2 billion mega cope with a Cypriot investor to develop a platinum mine and refinery? The place is the $5.2 billion mega cope with Nkosikhona Holdings, for the manufacturing of eight million liters of liquid fuels per day?
No matter occurred to the $5.2 billion Chinese language mega deal to construct the hydro-power era station at Batoka Gorge? What in regards to the $20 million Invictus Power mega deal to probe for oil reserves round Muzarabani? And people huge platinum claims given to Karo Assets for a $4.Four billion refinery plant that might create over 100 000 jobs?
Mr. New Dispensation does appear to be in over his head, and girlfriend just isn’t amused. She is ravenous whilst she waits for him to point out up and fulfill guarantees made. Dude is aware of she’s on the brink of ditch him if he doesn’t step up.
And so it comes as no shock to study that as just lately as April 2, 2020, this Cupid wrote a letter to some wealthy acquaintances in Washington DC asking, nay, begging, for financial help and promising to vary a lot of his wayward tendencies which have landed him within the present sizzling soup. Determined instances name for determined measures.
Will Cupid get the financial help he must make our Girl blissful? All of it is dependent upon the extent he’s prepared to go in conduct modification. Persevering with the blame sport (sanctions) gained’t lower it.
Will Girl Zimbabwe take him as her lawfully wedded husband on the subsequent plebiscite dinner? That could be a tougher query. She has been overheard muttering some historical knowledge that goes: “Idiot me as soon as, disgrace on you; idiot me twice, disgrace on me.”
— to nehandaradio.com