Expensive Abby: Teen chafes below dad’s strict model of parenting
DEAR ABBY: I’m a teenage lady in a median household. I began getting involved in LGBTQ+ and different social justice matters after I was in fifth grade.
Since then, I’ve realized that, amongst different issues, I am a lesbian, a liberal and an atheist. This would not be an issue, however my father hates lots of the issues I’m or stand for. He is an especially conservative, Christian, gun-rights individual, and he needs me and my brothers to hitch the navy. He always pushes me to be one of the best that I may be, and I attempt, however his concept of “greatest” may be very totally different from mine.
I’ve a number of psychological issues, which resulted in me getting particular privileges at school. I take advantage of them every time I can, however it’s by no means sufficient for him. He retains looking out by means of my grade e book till he finds one thing new for me to do, whatever the date it was assigned or whether or not it may be graded anymore.
I’ve varied restrictions on my use of know-how, so I can barely contact my mates. It has gotten to the purpose that I’m apprehensive about after I come out and searching ahead to school simply so I can get away. Please inform me what to do within the meantime as a result of school is 5 years away. — WAITING IN VIRGINIA
DEAR WAITING: You and your dad have very totally different outlooks on life, and that is OK. That mentioned, you need to stay below his roof for the following 5 years, so be diplomatic and maintain a few of your opinions to your self so long as potential.
It’s possible you’ll suppose your father is heavy-handed in parenting you, however has it occurred to you that when he goes by means of your grade e book, he is attempting to ensure you know the right way to work all the issues in it? Putting restrictions on a minor’s use of know-how is clever parenting, no less than for somebody simply getting into her teenagers. Please attempt to minimize him some slack. Acknowledge there’s a vivid future forward of you if you happen to focus in your research to one of the best of your potential and buckle down now.
DEAR ABBY: My 32-year-old son, “Jerry,” needed to suggest to his girlfriend, however did not have cash for a hoop. My husband provided him my authentic engagement ring, assuming for some purpose (or possibly simply not pondering) that my previous ring did not maintain sentimental worth to me, though I wore that 1/3-carat diamond every single day for 32 years earlier than getting a brand new, bigger one.
After the ring was provided, I felt pressured to let him have it. I knew it would not match his girlfriend, and I additionally did not suppose she would accept such a small diamond, however I figured he would have the diamond put right into a setting that match her. I bought over my feeling of loss realizing he would use the ring.
Effectively, he did not. He gave her MY ring, after which they went out and charged a nice-sized engagement ring that she chosen. My authentic ring now hangs on a sequence in her jewellery field. Ought to I ask for my ring again? — MEANS A LOT IN TEXAS
DEAR MEANS A LOT: As a result of your first engagement ring is just not getting used as supposed and was solely a spot holder till your son’s fiancee bought what she actually needed, I see no purpose why you should not ask, and I additionally see no purpose why she should not graciously comply.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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