I switched on the radio to listen to a headline apparently about individuals planning for Christmas: “How Santas can enter properties.” Turned out to be home hunters.
As overseas journeys are placed on maintain, some readers recall grim English holidays of yore. One has an abiding reminiscence of being invited on stage by a clown throughout a present. I as soon as wrote that clowns had been merely not humorous. I anticipated a tirade of abuse. Within the occasion I had exactly one indignant letter signed by two males, father and son. Each had been skilled clowns. Now, that was humorous.
The elements for an ideal storm of coronavirus infections will come collectively tomorrow. They’re: a sunny weekend, individuals with no brains and a authorities permitting unrestricted journey for individuals wanting “train.” In impact, now you can drive the place you want. And since the brainless have only a few concepts between ’em, they’ll converge on resorts, nationwide parks and all the opposite locations the place the locals fervently are not looking for them. I wager the anti-grockle gangs are prepared.
One of many greatest obstacles to the Authorities’s observe and hint smartphone mission is the easy, scuppering statistic that 60 per cent of pensioners haven’t got a smartphone. And I assume many of those haven’t got a house pc both. There was a time after I would have inspired each over-60 to get related, again within the good previous days when the web was benign and full of bargains.
As we speak it’s a byword for crooks and crashes. I referred a number of weeks in the past to the trauma of being locked out when BT refuses to recognise your completely legitimate electronic mail password. BT is aware of full effectively about this glitch, given the testimony of many frazzled customers locked out for no motive and discovering BT “consultants” unable to assist. And if you happen to quit on BT’s on-line assist and take recommendation from fellow victims, that is the form of tip you get: “The factor to recollect when altering password, is to cease all gadgets from auto-syncing with the server.” Nonetheless considering of logging on, Grandma? Assume once more.
The Authorities’s conditional plan is to permit weddings ceremonies – cancelled since March – to happen in England from June. It’s one factor to permit ceremonies, it’s fairly one other to get individuals to attend at a time when sensible folks keep away from crowds just like the plague for the superb motive that crowds unleash the plague. “Thanks very a lot for the invitation to the marriage of Hugo and Hilaria. Sadly, that’s the day we will probably be mowing the garden.”
Positively the ultimate point out of Pendulous Sedge, the number of grass I mentioned seemed like a Dickensian character and one reader thought was a pop group. One other reader swears that Pendulous Sedge is “a relatively nasty illness of the male genitalia.”
